======== Newsgroups: alt.surfing Subject: Surf Report for New Braunfels, TX, 5/3 From: tbmaddux@gear.ucsb.edu (Timothy B. Maddux) Date: 5 May 1997 09:59:02 -0700 Date/Time: Saturday, May 3rd, 12:00 noon - 6:00 pm Location: Flowrider, Schlitterbahn, New Braunfels, TX Weather: Sunny and warm, light breezes, can't tell from which direction since there's no topography and no coastline. Conditions: Crowded and chlorinated. Surf: Waist high and crumbly. Comments: Anticipation was running high all week; I had been eager to see this facility ever since its being featured in the mags and in Endless Summer II. Bettye and I were taking a trip to San Antonio and Austin to visit family, friends, and colleagues at UT Austin. My only condition for going along was one day at Schlitterbahn; for this I happily endured hours of conversation about microbiology and the hyperactivity of several children below the age of 6. I took occasional solace in rereading Daniel Duane's "Caught Inside," particularly in his discussions of work, family, and the conflicts Western society generally presents to an obsessed surfer like him (or me). $20 to get in the gate and to suffer a maddening swarm of teen-aged (and younger) hysteria. Black inner tubes careened down narrow hallways on adolescent feet; their parents languidly floating down the mellower tube rides while screams issued forth from the more adrenal flumes, sluices, tubes, chutes, and other precipitous watery descents. Where's the damn Flowrider? A detailed inspection of the map left me even more helpless than before. Names like "Banzai Pipeline" and "The Barrel" attached to even the most mediocre attraction made my goal impossible to find. Finally, a helpful young man pointed me to the tram that would deposit us at the facility. I eagerly dragged my wife past hordlings, cotton candy and waterspouts and up the stairs to see... ... the "Boogie Bahn". A twenty-foot wide ramp over which a four-inch deep torrent of water swept. Riders lined up, took a small chute onto the shoulder, typically went way out into the flat, and then were pushed back over the top like a lump of flotsam. The big sucking tube shown in pictures and ES II in reality was a mere 6-inch crumble on the opposite shoulder, with not even enough water flow to keep a rider in place. Most of the wall that would create the barrel was in fact bone-dry. The ultimate let-down was the realization that only boogie-boards were being ridden here, with Carl Ekstrom's super-small stand-up boards nowhere to be seen. I was bummed! I indignantly grabbed a foam nugget and waited my turn to hop in, and had fun with it despite myself. Avoiding the flat was key, which most of the riders didn't seem to understand, lasting less than 5 seconds on the ride. Staying in the flow was just a matter of stalling hard on the drop and then keeping to the middle. This got boring pretty quickly, and it was hard to throw any spray in such a fast, shallow flow. Kneeboarding was easy enough, and before long I was carving fast turns and flat 360s. A crew of kids would sit up atop the observation bleachers and heckle the rider below; even the ride operator would join in. The best riders would eventually get some hoots and cheers, begrudgingly, from the groms. One of them was a big redneck who was pushing 250; the flow was barely enough to keep him afloat. He'd take advantage of this by planting a foot in the foam bottom to anchor a turn that would send spray nearly to the bleachers. Foondoggy would probably be shredding here in no time. I talked to the operator for a while about cranking it up so it would barrel; apparently the ride a) doesn't generate enough traffic to make it cost effective to pump as much water as it needs to barrel and b) totally thrashes about 90% of the riders when they get taken over the falls. This makes the lines for the ride even shorter and the ride even less cost-effective. My attempts at bribery and charm falling short, I stuck to kneelo-ing the place and working on getting some air off what little lip there was, and wishing I was back home. If you're ever in New Braunfels, I'd recommend taking a look, but don't let yourself get too hyped-up by the press before going. -- .-``'. Timothy B. Maddux, Ocean Engineering Lab, UCSB .` .`~ Santa Barbara Surfing - http://www.me.ucsb.edu/~tbmaddux/ _.-' '._ Ahooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-Oooooooooooooooooooooooo! ======== Newsgroups: alt.surfing Subject: Re: Surf Report for New Braunfels, TX, 5/3 From: Foondoggy Date: Tue, 06 May 1997 10:56:23 +0100 Timothy B. Maddux wrote: > Foondoggy would probably be shredding > here in no time. I kinda think not Tim. The only thing I probably would be shreddin there is some first class Texas Barbacue and a couple of Lone Stars. There's something about chlorinated waves and squealin' kids that makes my brain short circuit. I do understand and sympathize though about enduring family obligations as an excuse to go surfing. My ordeal last October was to witness 100 geezers at an Elk's club anniversary party doing the Macarena all night before I could travel on to Zuma and Bu to cleanse my senses of the offending images. Good report anyway. I like hearing people's opinions of places I've seen hyped in movies. Thanks for your effort but I gather it wasn't worth the trip. -Foondoggy ======== Newsgroups: alt.surfing Subject: Re: Surf Report for New Braunfels, TX, 5/3 From: tbmaddux@alumnae.caltech.edu (Timothy B. Maddux) Date: 11 May 1997 00:51:13 GMT In article <336F0047.3A26@nist.gov>, Foondoggy demurred: >... The only thing I probably would be shreddin there >is some first class Texas Barbacue and a couple of Lone >Stars... The original report got long, so I trimmed any food mentions, but we definitely scored in the beef and beer categories; unusual for us in the former as we're mostly non-beef eaters. Shiner Bock was the beverage of choice, although San Antonio local 'Yellow Rose' was pretty good. The best BBQ fare was at Zimmerhansel's in Smithville (about 1 hr outside Austin), a small place with its own slaughterhouse. The steaks at Texas Land & Cattle in S.A. were some of the best I've ever had; so savory that 4 oz. was more than enough. I must have put on 10 lbs. what with all the eating and not surfing. >... I gather it wasn't worth the trip. It's worth a look (you can actually see it from outside the park) if you happen to be stuck there. But I'd heartily recommend against making a 'surf trip' there. I happened to chance across the original SURFER coverage of the facility last night (can't seem to find the @*(#$& article now to give the ish #) in which they mention the barrel is shut off for the public for the reasons I mentioned. The Flowrider's designer in the article says "Give me five years..." to create some real (fake) barrels, which is about 2-3 years from now. We'll see... -- .-``'. Timothy B. Maddux, Ocean Engineering Lab, UCSB .` .`~ http://www.engineering.ucsb.edu/~tbmaddux/ _.-' '._ "From the essence of pure stoke springs all creation." ======== Newsgroups: alt.surfing Subject: Re: Surf Report for New Braunfels, TX, 5/3 From: tgm@swbell.net (tgm) Date: Tue, 06 May 1997 14:01:34 GMT On 5 May 1997 09:59:02 -0700, tbmaddux@gear.ucsb.edu (Timothy B. Maddux) wrote: [cut] > > If you're ever in New Braunfels, I'd recommend taking a look, but > don't let yourself get too hyped-up by the press before going. > Tim, I believe the key to riding that place is going there with the press so that management does clear the park and crank the machine full throttle. Have you ever seen the flowrider that was built in Sweden? Unbelievable size! - t