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Newsgroups: alt.surfing
Subject: God is a kook!
From: surfco <davismch@ix.netcom.com>
Date: Sun, 07 Jul 1996 21:09:42 -0700

I'm sitting outside at my local beach break this morning in this crappy
little wind swell, barely longboardable, all by my lonesome.  This guy
with a beard wearing a neon fullsuit (water temp's pushing 70) paddles
out on a Merrick chip with about five thousand stickers all over it. 
Even though there's miles of empty peaks in either direction he sets up
right between me and the beach and just then a set comes in, the first
decent wave in an hour and I'm on it.  Sure enough, kook flails for the
shoulder, pearls right in front of me, loses his board which cuts a four
inch gash in my rail.  I'm ready to clock the guy just for the good of
the world when he sputters up, looks at me, and...what can I tell you? 
It's God.  I'm not the least bit religeous but when you see him, you
know.  He spits out a gallon of water and says, "dude, I just didn't see
you."   That sounds pretty sketchy coming from an all-seeing power but I
figure this is one guy you want to cut some slack and besides he looks
kind of worn down and stressed, in fact, he looks totally bummed,  so I
just shrug and paddle over to the next peak but, of course, he follows
me, sets up inside again, cuts me off again, pearls again, almost spears
me with his board.  Over and over.  Wave after wave.  He must have cut
me off a dozen times.  He's an absolute  menace.  I'm so pissed, I don't
care who he is, I've got to say something and I'm about to but I don't
have the heart because you can see he's having the time of his life. 
He's totally stoked.  He says "man, I wish I had more time for this."  
So I tell him to take a few extra strokes before standing up and maybe
shift the weight back a little and then a decent wave comes in and he
paddles hard, takes off, and makes it.  I've never seen anyone so
happy.  He paddles back out with a big smile and I'm about to
congratulate him but just then the wind turns hard offshore and the
swell starts pumping.  It got really good and I lost track of him.  But
he was there, I swear, I've got this ding on my board to prove it.  It's
right around here someplace...