======== Newsgroups: alt.surfing Subject: Re: John4Surf vs Cortical From: Surfer Bob Date: Thu, 16 Oct 1997 18:09:19 -0700 CC: rtaylor@geog.ucsb.edu basmus@ix.netcom.com says... >... If I'm surfing with you and see you in position >for a particularly good wave but think, based on the way I've seen you >surf--or even the way you paddle-- Or even the way you look. Or for no reason at all if I'm feeling like a particularly big dick that day. And I usually am. Who says I need to have a reason? Pompous self-important sociopathic posers like me steal from other people daily. And why not? I am the center of a Universe that worships my beloved ass, aren't I? >that you are going to blow it (defile it, is another way I'd put it) Because I always add insult to injury. Steal your waves, and heap arrogant abuse on you while I do it. I'd have made a great Nazi back in the day. But I never get anything done because I spend all day admiring my lovely ass in the mirror. God, my ass is beautiful... >I'm going to take off. In fact, I'm going >to be unable not to take off-and there is a difference there. I'm going >to have to take off because I'm compelled (carefully chosen word) to... God makes me be a prick. I have no free will at all. It helps me sleep at night. Don't blame me, blame the Creator of my Universe. That's God, not me, though we are hard to tell apart. I'm the one with the nice ass. Oh, did I already mention that I am the center of a Universe that worships my beloved ass? You'd do well to get with the program and worship my ass too. Such a beautiful ass. God, I'm good! >...if I'm better than you, its my responsibility to take over that wave >and give it my best. Because I am such an egotistical, narcissistic jerkoff, I have convinced myself that God and Nature will throw a tantrum if my every childish whim is not satisfied all day every day. Just like me. Why are you having so much trouble understanding this? My mom always wiped my priceless ass every time I cried, but you have the gall to dispute my primacy at the center of the Universe. Maybe if you'd worship my precious ass more, you'd begin to appreciate its divine mystery. And would you mind doing that from the beach, so you don't defile any more of my waves? God created them all so I could surf every one and stick my ass out for all the world to admire. Get over yourself man! A lineup full of guys who all think like you would be the very definition of a surfer's Hell. It takes a lot of good-natured surfers to dilute your bad vibes and conceit in the lineup. If waves didn't come in sets, you'd never give away a single one. Please work on rediscovering your sense of humor. It's probably lying, crushed and forgotten, beneath your absurdly bloated ego. It might help you share an occasional wave with someone who is beneath your dignity (which includes almost everyone, it would seem). Believe it or not, you are the only one who worships your sweet ass. And there's a good reason for that. Peace, Surfer Bob