======== Newsgroups: alt.surfing Subject: How do You Pray for Surf? From: Foondoggy Date: 27 Jun 1996 17:49:35 GMT By this time last year the Right Coast was well on it's way to an Epic Season. To date, we've had one Tropical Storm which left us mostly depressed. What I need to know is what are your local customs or rituals for "Makin it Happen!?" I don't care if they work or not, we'll try anything. The following worked fairly well last year: Scene- Late night at the Foondoggy Surf Shrine. -Parafin is bubbling on a sterno burner. -Original dayglo version of the Endless Summer poster is suitably Blacklit and framed by seashells. Post-it notes with the names of former great Hurricanes are placed on the poster. -Cheesy little surfboard clock from Mrs.Foondoggy's trip to Manila marks the time (incorrectly). -In the background plays a pre-recorded tape of yours truly performing the drum part to "Wipeout" in one quarter time on the big Ludwig floor tom. -Ritual Dress: Original Katins, 10 yr old Reefs, a Mrs.Foon made Hawaiian shirt with print that shows breaking waves and erupting volcanos, and the newly acquired "Surf Free or Die" baseball cap. (Shades optional) -I sit in a 15 yr old canvas sling back beach chair and sip tentatively from a tepid glass of "Cujo Mescal", the worm is still dead. The Prayer begins: "All powerful and divine Ocean Spirit of indeterminent religious persuasion, I, Foondoggy, your most humble and half-bagged servant do beseech thee to hear my plea. By this time last year, you had blessed us with an abundance of rideable waves. We worship and praise your infinite power to bring us such wonderful conditions and pray take pity on us once more. Your humble servant (me) will be on vacation next week and face the bleak prospect of sitting on the shore while thousands of vacationers urinate in your sacred waters. I pray you will provide moderate wave turbulance which will cleanse and purify your holy waters and give me an opportunity to cut up the mob one more time. It would also be nice if it was big and glassy in the morning so that we dedicated dawn patrol worshipers were rewarded for getting up so early to sing your praises and ride your waves. I do not ask for much, but if you could make it gnarly enough so the tourists think twice about going out, I'd really appreciate it." "Please, oh omniscient one, I beg thee to grant this request. In return I will never ever watch an episode or rerun of "Baywatch" or access the unauthorized Pamela Anderson Homepage (the good one with nekked pichers!). Also, I'll take back every nasty comment I've ever written on alt.surfing (except about Corky Carroll and Pete Amschel) and send an apology to Laird Hamilton for my "Pretty Boy Laird" post of a few months ago." "These things I do solumnly swear, Big Kahuna" "Cowabunga and Amen". Ritual Ends: Bite the Lemon, shoot the Mescal, bow three times to the Endless Summer Poster, change the tape to the ES 2 soundtrack by the Sandals and stare, zombie-like, at endless replays of Gerry Lopez at the Pipe. So how do you guys do it? -Foondoggy "The worst moment for an atheist is when he is really thankful, and has nobody to thank." -Dante Gabriel Rossetti "If there were real justice in the world, people would be able to fly over seagulls for a change." -Anon ======== Newsgroups: alt.surfing Subject: Re: How do You Pray for Surf? From: sansmerc@ix.netcom.com (Marina) Date: 28 Jun 1996 04:11:37 GMT Rev. Foondoggy, Your ritual was definitely something. As an East Coaster I definitely appreciate your dedication. Here in So. Hampton our ritual prayer is short'n' sweet and to the point. We get up before the Sun, head out to "Mi casa es su casa"(Gin Lane) stand naked by the water and chant Please, Please, Please!...just kidding. We basically, whine that God, is punishing use for living on the East Coast and head to Hanson House to swap stories of when it was good. I don't know if this works, but if you or Drop'in Vin have any better ideas please let us know. Better yet head-up here, we could definitely use your help. I don't know if I have the dedication or the props you have for your ritual. Your truly a prop master in my eyes. Sans ======== Newsgroups: alt.surfing Subject: Re: How do You Pray for Surf? From: gjohnson@dream.season.com (Reality is a point of view) Date: 29 Jun 1996 11:10:41 GMT +---- wfover@micf.nist.gov wrote (27 Jun 1996 17:49:35 GMT): | So how do you guys do it? +---- Being a trickster type, I con someone into leaving town. -- Gary Johnson "There's no union called the AFL-CIA is there?" gjohnson@season.com Walk The Talk CAMPAIGN '96: Juck 'em if they can't fake a toke. ======== Newsgroups: alt.surfing Subject: Re: How do You Pray for Surf? From: dp025@seqeb.gov.au (D.Pritchard...Bear) Date: 1 Jul 1996 04:07:14 GMT In article <4quhjf$k5m@dove.nist.gov>, wfover@micf.nist.gov says... > >Scene- Late night at the Foondoggy Surf Shrine. >-Parafin is bubbling on a sterno burner...... other Satanic-ritual details deleted >"The worst moment for an atheist is when he is really thankful, and has >nobody to thank." -Dante Gabriel Rossetti As a 'born-again atheist'..I loved this quote Foon' :-) OK...as far as praying for surf is concerned, it _has_ to be Satanic right??? I mean, Foon, when d'ya get your best surf?....why, when them thar hurricanes is a-blusterin and a-blowin!! So a prayer for qual. surf is basically "Dear Lord, please kill some innocent folks, or at least rip off their roofs, overturn their cars/boats, send their Weber bbq's and garden furniture to the "great beyond' and generally create miscellaneous havoc so that this small-but-very-appreciative minority can go do the lip-smack, tube-limbo and other versions of the wet dance" er...so if it works...!!???????? :-) :-) Bear -- Dave-I-didn't-say-it-it-was-him!-Pritchard The South East Queensland Electricity Corporation Email: dp025@seqeb.gov.au ======== Newsgroups: alt.surfing Subject: Re: How do You Pray for Surf? From: kithill@aol.com (KITHILL) Date: 11 Jul 1996 04:51:41 -0400 <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< >Scene- Late night at the Foondoggy Surf Shrine. >-Parafin is bubbling on a sterno burner...... other Satanic-ritual details deleted >"The worst moment for an atheist is when he is really thankful, and has >nobody to thank." -Dante Gabriel Rossetti As a 'born-again atheist'..I loved this quote Foon' :-) OK...as far as praying for surf is concerned, it _has_ to be Satanic right??? I mean, Foon, when d'ya get your best surf?....why, when them thar hurricanes is a-blusterin and a-blowin!! So a prayer for qual. surf is basically "Dear Lord, please kill some innocent folks, or at least rip off their roofs, overturn their cars/boats, send their Weber bbq's and garden furniture to the "great beyond' and generally create miscellaneous havoc so that this small-but-very-appreciative minority can go do the lip-smack, tube-limbo and other versions of the wet dance" er...so if it works...!!???????? :-) :-) Bear -- Dave-I-didn't-say-it-it-was-him!-Pritchard >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Hey Bear I hope your surfing isn't is bad as your theology or my spelling. Don't forget that the same hurricanes that send destruction also send "rain upon both the good and the evil" ( Matt. 5:45-46 ) not to mention waves for the good and bad surfers. As for me...I usually throw a non-virgin into the extinct volcanic caldera in the Oakland hills ( "Ahhh" then 'Thump' ) and he prays for waves in hopes that I'll go surfing and stop throwing him into extinct calderas. :-)) But seriously folks....I find more and more in these crowds I pray for safety! Rev. Sea M. Holy Bay Rollers "I was chiefly conscious of ecstatic bliss at having caught the wave." - Jack London, Learning Hawaiian Surfing , 1907